Saturday, May 24, 2008

adios amigos!

well i leave in a couple of hours for guatemala. i am all packed with my baby wipes, protein bars, umbrella (it's supposed to rain every day there!), pepto, sun screen!, all types of snack food, and anything else i might need. i have a huge suitcase of all my stuff and a smaller one full of donation items. thank you all for your prayers as i journey down to this orphanage. these are all children that have been abandoned by the world, but i want them to know their father in heaven loves them and that their security lies in him anyway and not the world. having a personal relationship with our god is ALL we need...and sometimes god strips us of the world so that we see that we only need him.

in luke 18:22 when jesus asks the rich man to sell all his possessions and follow him, the rich man turns away sad, for he had a lot of possessions. i always read this before as jesus challenging the man to sacrifice for him...but now i see it differently. this rich man was in bondage by his things...he treasured the wrong thing! and jesus was trying to FREE him, not take something away from him. so when jesus strips us of things, i believe it's out of love, because he knows we will find unexplainable joy through him...joy never found in things.

i will be back in 7 days and let you all know how it goes! god is awesome and i know he is going to go before us and after us on this trip and i am excited and honored to be able to be a part of it!

Monday, May 19, 2008

that darn vasovagal reflex...

i decided today to go get my tetanus shot because i am going to guatemala this saturday, and even though it takes 10 days to be effective (oops!) it will be working for half of the trip and for future ones. i have had shots before and they have all been FINE, but today i passed out cold for about a minute! i knew right away what was happening and that i was about to faint so i put my head down on the table and the last thing i remember is trying to catch my sunglasses that started falling off my head.

when i 'woke up' i was soooo confused and had no idea where i was and this person was saying 'kim...kim...' but she seemed really far away, and then i started to remember where i was and what i was doing. i felt so nauseated and sick and weak and i was sweating really badly...and at first i couldn't even move from the chair to lie down. and after 45 minutes of resting in the waiting room chair, i finally felt ok to drive... what a day! i had to call work and let them know i wouldn't be back until after lunch...crazy! and i think i really scared the nurse...at the end she asked me, "have you ever fainted before," and i said "yes, tons of times, but never after a shot..." i guess i still should have warned her.

so it made me think...how many times have i fainted, or almost fainted?
1. when my sister karri slammed my pinky finger in the hinge of door when i was little (on accident..well she slammed the door on me on purpose, but she didn't know my finger was there).
2. when i got my ears pierced when i was 6.
3. when i got too hot outside running in pe classes and passed from heat exhaustion (my coach didn't make me run outside anymore in the afternoon...haha).
4. i can recall at least 5 times when i have had to get my blood drawn.
5. when i tried to donate blood for the first time when i was 21...i passed out for 5 minutes and couldn't drive for a day and was weak for 3 days (this was the worst time by far!...they told me to never donate blood again).
6. when my sister sarah had a huge boil on the back of her leg and i watched my dad drain it at his office one night...that was so gross!
7. in college i had this bump on my eye and i fainted at the eye doctor...and then i had to have it removed and i fainted after the surgery (before i was even thinking about being an eye doctor!)
8. when i was trying on my wedding dress (hmmm...should that have been a sign?!)
9. i fainted 3 times in optometry school...but only when people were practicing things on me (and yes they still let me graduate...although i believe i am still the only student that has ever fainted!)
10. one time when i got out of shower that had apparently been too hot
11. whenever i try to clean the bathtub (no i am not joking or just trying to get out of cleaning!) but i guess the fumes make me lightheaded and i feel like i am going to faint.
12. this one's my favorite...one time i woke up christmas morning and was so excited to see the younger kids open their presents...but i got out of bed too quickly and passed out somewhere in the upstairs gameroom and fell over a chair and ended up with a huge bruise on my arm!

and for those of you interested in the biology of what happens...
the vasovagal reflex causes the heart rate to slow and the blood vessels to widen, or dilate. As a result, blood pools in the lower body and less blood goes to the brain. This reflex can be triggered by many things, including stress, pain, fear, coughing, and holding your breath. Fainting caused by the vasovagal reflex is often easy to predict. It happens to some people every time they have to get a shot or they see blood. Some people know they are going to faint because they have symptoms beforehand, such as feeling weak, nauseated, hot, or dizzy. After they wake up, they may feel confused, dizzy, or ill for a while.

Friday, May 16, 2008

crazy directions...

i was going to the champions office to fill in for another doctor today, and i glanced down at my directions this morning and just laughed...only in houston!

take 610 N
then 290 W
exit and take beltway 8 N
exit 249 N
then exit 1960 E
and left on veteran's memorial...

i mean, how many highways is that anyway!? okay, it was rhetorical question, but i actually just counted...it's FIVE. crazy, right!? it will be nice to walk to work on monday (i am in walking distance to the weslayan office...i love that!)

oh, that reminds me...i went up on a curb yesterday when i was trying to park (i was late for a meeting at church and didn't stop soon enough!) and as i am driving home i hear something dragging so i pull over before getting on the highway and see that this plastic thing underneath my bumper was hanging down! so last night i tried to stuff it back in there, and it got me home (i was a little impressed with myself and my hands only got a little dirty too).

this morning i was on my way to work and i turned the wrong way (which i never do!) and so then i had to go through the residential streets by my apartment to turn around, and while i was doing this, the whole plastic thing fell off! i forget now what it's called but it goes over the wheel too. anyway, i felt kind of funny putting this huge plastic thing in my trunk! and i thanked god right away for guiding me to an empty street for this to happen instead of a busy street or worse, one of the many highways i was on today...and it also could have happened last night the highway when i was coming back church.

don't we have a great god?! i am so grateful he is the lord of my life and sovereign in every way...even down to the timing of when pieces of my car fall off in order to keep me safe. oh and to top it off, the kinda cute guy at meineke didn't charge me to fix it! you should have seen the confused look on his face when i told him, 'i hit a curb last night, and this morning a platic part of my car fell off...' it made me laugh! :)

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

angels in the woodlands

i got to have lunch earlier this week with my 3 best friends in the woodlands (and their 3 handsome baby boys). i started thinking how much i miss seeing them all the time. i am so grateful to god putting these sweet girls in my life when he did. they were such an amazing support to me while i went through my divorce...wow, it's almost been 2 years ago now! they were there for everything...they went to court with me, cried with me, comforted me, prayed for me, loved me, and even fed me and let me live in their homes! looking back, i realize that they were actually how i first 'saw god' in my life...i don't think i had ever experience god's love before. it was hard for me to embrace his grace...and it wasn't that i thought i had to earn his love, but i thought i didn't deserve it unless i earned it, which i never could earn it, so i never deserved it.

these girls would have done anything for me...and i had nothing to offer back. and i couldn't repay them even if i tried! i just had to accept all they did for me! i was so overwhelmed by it all. and that is how it is with god is...we can never repay him, and we have nothing to offer back, except to praise and honor him with our lives. and his love is overwhelming. through my friends, i discovered christ is my comforter, my protector and my shield, my provider, my best friend and ALL i need. knowing christ and receiving his grace has changed my life...forever. i first learned i could trust my friends, and eventually god showed me that i was able to trust myself, what i was feeling...and i learned that my feelings weren't something i should ignore, because it was the holy spirit talking to me and guiding me. (1 john 2:27)

i love these girls so much and will always see them as my angels, because it was through them that i first began to grasp god's love and experience his amazing peace. and there is nothing that can separate us from his love...nothing! (romans 8:39). i had a professor at CBS who said something that stuck with me..."he loves you, and there's NOTHING you can do about it!" i love that! so if you didn't know it, god loves you...and nothing can separate you from it and there's nothing you can do about it! :)

here we are after lunch at black walnut cafe (yum!)... it's audrey (and 5 mo grayson...she has 3 more at home), meredith (and 7 mo oliver...she has 2 more at home), me and then amy (with 11 mo owen...and she has a baby girl due in september!). they asked where my little boy was...henry where were you!? haha!

this is me and little adorable oliver...what a cutie and such a happy baby! :)

Monday, May 12, 2008

guatemala, here i come!

'you know, kim, there aren't any spas in guatemala...'

this is what a friend said to me when i told her i was going to guatemala for a mission trip...and i know she was kidding, but it made me realize that doing something like this is TOTALLY out of my comfort zone! i have no idea what god is thinking in wanting me to go, but he made sure to let me know in multiple ways that i was supposed to go...because he knew that i try to talk myself out of going when these thoughts came into my head...

-but i am a picky eater...lauri told me i can just eat tortillas! that's what she ate when she was there!
-but what if i get sick? you can't eat hardly anything and you could get sick off the plates because they are washed in the water that makes you sick...that reminds me that i need to get my shots!
-and what if there are bugs there?! i really don't like bugs...the last time i went camping when i was 11 i got this awful spider bite that made my whole foot grow three sizes! karri's friend got lice and lauri got flea bites...
-and what if i start sleep walking?! once at camp mystic i slept walked at night and they found me out by the river...i think they will lock the doors though.
-what if i can't sleep on the beds...i can't even sleep on an air mattress...hey, i can take tylenol pm!
-am i going to have to be outside a lot?...i don't do well in the sun...but it's supposed to be the rainy season while we are there so that's a blessing!...but there is no a/c either, so maybe being outside will be better...

so anyway, whenever these crazy and irrational problems come to mind, i remember how i know i am supposed to go and i put my worries aside and trust god! and i know that i am going to be protected because i am doing god's will! and when i finally forget about my anxieties, i realize how excited i am about going. i am always telling god that i am willing to do whatever he wants me to do with my life, so here i go! the coolest part is that i get to be part of something that god is doing! and it's not for me...it's all for him! everyone tells me it will be amazing and i will be changed. it also was awesome knowing that god wants me to go.

please join me in praying!! i have been praying to prepare my heart for the trip...i pray for the kids at the orphanage who we will be staying with...that we will know what their needs are and be able to show them god's love for them. i pray for our team...there are 15 of us going...that we will be effective for god and work well together. it has been so much fun to get to know everyone. i pray for me not to get distracted by unimportant things as i prepare to go. thank you all for your prayers as i prepare to go and please pray for me and my team while we are there too. i will keep you posted and update you when i get back! i leave in TWELVE DAYS!!...ready or not! :)

http://www.casabernabe.org/

Sunday, May 11, 2008

always in our hearts...

while my brother was going to baylor in 2000, he got this adorable sweet lab named mandy. she died on friday...she had been sick and we knew her time with us would not be long. she will be missed by so many! she was so obedient, so smart, and such a great companion for david. she adored him...and she was his best friend. we will never for you mandy...thank you for touching our lives, for making us smile, and for being so lovable. you will always be in our hearts.

when i read this from his blog, it made me cry...

To Mandy:

Enjoy chasing the squirrels up there in dog heaven. And hopefully there are huge fields you can run in with other dogs with lakes everywhere. And food, I hope you have an endless supply of people food and the best dog food. And tell Bierngt I said 'hello,' will you?

Thanks for keeping me company through some lonely times. I didn't realize it until this morning, but I loved waking up and starting my day with serving somebody other than myself. You helped me transition from a life caring only about myself to a life more centered on serving others.

Thanks for all the laughter. You will not be forgotten. You're the best dog a guy could have asked for.

Job well done Mandy. Enjoy some much deserved rest.

Love your temporary caretaker, David

Saturday, May 10, 2008

fun in kansas city!

emily came to visit for a day...it was good to see her. she is done with nursing school for the summer!

samantha is so precious when she sleeps!

this is ella and me playing 'wake up!' (game is explained a couple days earlier...)

ella wanting to hold the baby! :) she loves samantha, most of the time!

ella put her little hand on my leg while i was playing...so cute! she also had a marker cap in her mouth...!

ella let me put her down for a nap within the first hour i arrived...lauri said she was surprised that she went to me from rob too..maybe she remembers me from when she was a baby. she has changed so much! she's talking and walking and acts like a little person now!

lauri is considering using this picture for her announcements...samantha is a doll!

i had a great time meeting samantha and getting to know ella better! i am happy that i will see samantha in june for nikki's shower, and i will see both girls in july for david's wedding. i miss you guys!

Friday, May 9, 2008

miracle

an amazing thing happened at work today...a patient came who had surgery yesterday (a tube was put in her left eye to help drain the aqueous...she has really serious neovascular glaucoma). anyway, i was seeing her for her post-op appointment at the champions office. well, her eye looked horrible...she came in with a pressure patch on her eye which i removed and her vision was only light perception. (we measure vision 20/20, 20/400 etc and then it goes to CF-count fingers- when vision is off the chart, then HM-hand motion, then LP-light perception). she also had a hyphema, or blood pooled in the anterior chamber, or in her pupil-area. the blood was about 85% covering her pupil, which is why she couldn't see. i told her i was going to call the surgeon but that she would probably have to go see him today. she said her son had to get back to work and couldn't take herso she didn't know how she would get there. i told her she had to find a way...when i left, i started praying for her. i had never seen this before and was concerned...i called the surgeon and told him what was going on and he told me to go ahead and check her pressure and then to send her over to him in katy.

when i went back in to check her pressure (about 30 minutes later), the hyphema was gone! 100%! i was shocked...i rechecked her vision and her vision was CF! i told her it was better but couldn't explain to her why or what happened. i am still so surprised at what i saw! i just thanked god for answering my prayer. and he did it in such a miraculous way. i know what i saw before, and it was gone! i called the surgeon back (and apologized for interrupting him in surgery, again!) and told him, 'this may sound crazy, but the hyphema is gone, her vision is improved, and her pressure is fine.' he said it did sound crazy...and he said it must have drained once i removed the pressure patch, but said that wasn't typical. i am so grateful to god today and i thank him, for being a god who works miracles in our lives! and for being mighty and powerful and for hearing our prayers! i am in awe....

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

aunt kim in kc

i just got back tonight from visiting my cute nieces in kansas city! my sister lauri and her husband rob moved there for their residencies in 2004 and they will be there until 2010 (and then i am hoping they move to houston, of course!) lauri is finished and works 2 days a week at a pediatric clinic and rob has a couple of more years... he is specializing in neuro-radiology i think. i had a great time and am so impressed with what a fantastic mom lauri is. and in case you didn't know, being a mom is A LOT of work! i even needed naps while i was there too, and i was just observing most of the time!

here are some adorable moments from my trip...
-hearing ella say my name (she says 'sham')
-other words ella says so cutely: 'eminie' (emily), 'manmas' (samantha), 'bolk' (milk and book), 'holders' (what she says when she wants to hold samantha), 'hars' (hair...she says it like 'cars')
-when ella pulled her shirt up and put a toy under it and said 'hungry'
-when ella wakes up in the morning she goes to the door and starting saying, 'hewwo, hewwo?'
-when ella is ignoring you she looks the other way but carefully eyes you from the side while staying perfectly still, giving you a look like she is hoping you will go away!
-ella loves to climb on everything! and she has great balance (she can go down steps without holding onto anything and goes one after the other...not step and then together...does that make sense!?)
-ella knows her abc's already!...she's only 21 months old! she's really smart. we were going to the park and i asked her 'what's that?' and she said 'fire hydrant.' wow!
-ella loves cars, trucks and tractors! i love it!
-emily walked into ella's room after her nap and she was already awake, laying on her stomach with her feet up in the air, flipping through the little tykes magazine! so cute! (lauri says she thinks it's a book and will bring it to her and say, 'read it' and lauri's like, 'ok, this water toy is $39.99...'!)
-ella will pretend to sleep and make snoring sounds and then screams, 'wake up!'...when you play this with her it's hilarious!
-watching ella skip! she has the most adorable way of running when she's excited! it's so cute!
-ella says 'whoa' sometimes when she is surprised about something...it's so cute!

hmmm...i just realized these are all about ella! well, she was the majority of the entertainment it appears! but samantha was so adorable...i wanted to hold her all the time. she's so precious and beautiful and so amazing! she eats, sleeps, cries a little, smiles some and will look at you....she likes to be sung to and likes to be bounced. she likes to eat a lot at night...one night she ate off and on for 3 hours (lauri called it her marathon feedings!). oh and i almost forgot...she spits up all the time...all of my clothes have spit on them somewhere! she is still very tiny...so delicate and fragile! but she is gaining slowly and is at 8 lb 5 oz now (at 6 wks old)! yay samantha! i love her so much!

i had so much fun getting to know the girls better...and i got to spend good sister time with lauri...and emily came for part of the visit too which was soooo much fun! i will post some pictures later!

Friday, May 2, 2008

austin is 13!

happy birthday to my little brother austin! austin is the sweetest kid in the world...he's great at all sports, but especially football, he is fun to be around and miss him and wished i could see him more. i was just 19 when he was born...and i can't believe now he is a teenager! :) when he was little he would cry on his birthday when he was supposed to blow out his candles (he didn't like all the attention) and he would cry whenever i tried to take his picture! he's gotten over that now apparently! :)

Thursday, May 1, 2008

maximus is one!

when i first met max i wanted to steal him from sarah..i had been thinking about getting a dog for a couple of months and i thought i wanted a little girl maltese until i saw how cute max was. so i got a dog myself a couple of weeks later and even though i love him, i still try to get sarah to trade me for a month or so! (henry is a lot more work than max...max is calm and just entertains himself and he's soooo sweet!...) anyway, sarah says no because she is afraid max will come back 'like henry' after being around me! when elyse met henry she told me, 'henry has your exact personality!' and i was like 'what!?' i guess we do both have a lot of energy. and when julie was over the other day i was telling her how henry sometimes didn't want to eat and i had to encourage him to eat dinner...and she said 'oh, then he's just like you!' which is true...sometimes i get annoyed with having to eat food! funny how our personalities may rub off on our pets...but i don't like that because then that would mean that i am sometimes difficult and maybe high maintenance...sarah says max is lazy just like her! and it's true that sarah is very laid back...just like max!